Contemplating life over a plate of mo:mo:

Sitting at a table in the rooftop of a nameless restaurant, looking down at those curio shops, people and vehicle, not trying to look at those mo:mo:s that were making me nauseous and trying to act indifferent about the way my table partner was constantly on his mobile phone, I contemplated about life in general. Because there was nothing else to do.

I couldn't possibly eat that mo:mo: (it is my favorite dish but that particular day my appetite had been robbed off completely because of some butterflies flapping in my abdomen. Was it love?). My glass of juice had long been drained, I could not yank that phone off his ear and throw it off that building, but more importantly I did not know where I stood in all this.

And so I was contemplating about things in general. I thought how the happenings of the past few days had completely robbed me off my appetite. It was possible to hate even your best dish when your mental frame was disturbed. And so I thought, it was never right to say that you loved something absolutely. Because everything is relative. Your perception of everything is changing with your changing circumstances.
I contemplated on how fragile human relations and emotions were. Just before we had walked up those narrow staircases leading to the roof, I was so sure about everything. I was sure about why we were climbing up that stair, I was sure about why we two were eating out together and I was so sure why we two had met.

But later, as the conversations on his phone only lengthened and my trust on everything began to falter, I saw this whole process of my heart going rigid inside. One moment I was so full of love and trust, then I began to feel insecure and very petty in comparison to his "important" phone calls and finally I went all cold and stiff, because my hurt ego had to be consoled some way or the other. And I chose cold and indifferent. I'm sure many people choose this facade, once they realize that there are lots of insecurities and things are not as you trusted them to be.

So I cursed myself on being there, in front of that cold plate of mo:mo:. Because it had been untouched for such a long time, the eater said that it had lost its taste. And because I was untended for so long, I had lost my essence of being there. By the time half of the tasteless mo:mo: had been eaten, the only thing in my mind was escape. I was thinking if only I could reach home right now, sprawl myself on the sofa and watch TV, I wouldn't have to think about all these emotional stuffs, like insecurity and trust and everything, so I did what I am a champ at doing. I bolted, I ran, I cursed myself and I vowed yet again never to trust anyone and never to believe in anything sweet in life. I reinstalled my cocoon that I had so painfully broken. All over a plate of mo:mo:.