The sky is always out there, for me!

I have often found myself staring out into the open, up towards the sky, or simply into the void whenever I feel dejected, too baffled with life, too stifled with civilization or too overwhelmed by the gravity of my presence here in Earth.

And yet, I hate to see other people doing the same in similar situations.
Only yesterday, I was traveling in a bus, and as I looked out the window (trying to lessen the suffocation that I was feeling), I saw this big hospital with dreary long walls and closed windows. There was a slight opening at the top floor, and I could see people crowding that space, staring out into the open, towards the street, gazing up towards the sky or fixing their eyes into the "cosmic void of nothingness". I hated to see them do this. Because I was seeing me.

I often wonder why it irritates you so much if you see someone follow a habit that you know you have too. May be its just me that is irritated or its just this particular habit of "looking out", trying to reach out to God or whatever.

I know once a person feels secure, or lets say bluntly, I feel secure, I will forget to gaze into the open, I will forget to turn my head sideways and gaze a long long time into everything and nothing until my vision blurs out, I will forget to tilt my head up, take a deep breath and try to search that Almighty in the sky. But in this life, which is nothing but an accident that you had no hand in, there are moments when you feel insecure, vulnerable and the need to feel a reassurance that in this crazy big universe, you are not alone. That there is something, someone out there looking for you. As you gaze into the infinite nothingness in front of you, it is kind of reassuring to feel that some one else is looking back and saying I'm here, you are not alone.

Well, this crazy story and this crazy illusion must only be mine. But i know everyone finds moments in life when they have to look out like this just to let everything sink in.

As for me, however vulnerable, insecure and small I feel, there will always be a piece of sky to gaze out to, to feel watched and reassured. Sky is always out there, for me even if I'm only an insignificant dot in this cosmic mesh! :D